Standing between you and the other side of me. Or not, maybe actually it’s between my super-ego and my id. I’m the ego – listening to the right and the left side, listening to the right and wrong, listening to the supposed and the freedom, listening to the theory and the practical, listening to the want and the need. I’m the ego, want to please every nerves of your body but need to free myself from you.

I’m the ego and I feel like grey. Not even black or white. Grey – perfectly caught in the middle.


The Conscious and Her Unconscious Twin

C: Damn, I must lost my sense of intuition. How can’t I decide and resolve this problem when I’ve spent so much time to know every detail about this problem and done everything I should and still feel like I know nothing at all and really don’t know what to do? You know it’s actually like I’ve been living it my whole life and understand it inside and outside but suddenly it become a problem to me. It’s like… I’ve known very well in my whole life that steal is a bad action and worth a punishment, and yet someday these people around me start telling me that it’s not that bad action so I just have to get over it quick. Like what the hell? How can it make sense?

U: Huh you think you just lost your sense of intuition? How about you’ve been lost yourself all along? Does it feel make sense now?

C: “…t-that’s feels like awkwardly fit perfectly.”



I don’t know why I feel the need to capture this post on my tumblr and re-post it here. But one thing for sure, I need you to know that you can go through this in the end, no matter how much time you needed, you will get better eventually.

Yes you and you, and another you.

Sayang, kupikir kadang-kadang aku perlu benar untuk menyuarakkan kehilangan dengan lantang, lalu setelahnya tetap berani melangkah maju dengan apa yang tersisa untukku, sama persis seperti ketika aku menyanyikan lagu balonku ada lima.